How many times have you been frustrated with something that impacts your life which you had no control over? Maybe you are in a situation like that right now. If you haven’t experienced it, don’t worry, your time will come and when it does, here is a tip which I’m certain will provide you some support. Give your frustration some room to breath. Frustration, anger and sadness are all emotional states that impact you physically. The physiological impacts can range from headaches, to muscle twitching, and general fatigue because to be quite honest, negative emotions are exhausting! To ease some of that exhaustion here are some questions you can ask yourself to ease some of that tension and give your emotions some room to breath.
What role does love play in the situation? – Love almost always has some role to play in the situations that most deeply impact our emotions. Identifying the role of love is a great opportunity to connect with what you really feel, and why you are reacting in frustration. Are you frustrated because of a situation impacting a relationship involving love? Is something that you love being taken away? What power and resolve can you extract from the love involved in the situation? Love offers a powerful opportunity to strategically switch your perspectives from one of defense, to offense, from passive to active, from victim to victor etc.
Who is the good guy/bad guy and why? – A big step to getting over your frustration is identifying the roles involved and what part they play. It’s often easy to put a face to our perpetrators, but knowing why they have assumed that role is a difficult question and can uncover some important facts. Humans have a tendency to see things in black and white, good or bad, enemy or friend. When we feel backed against the wall almost certainly there is a face to the perpetrator who put us there, but understanding why you see them as a friend or foe can bring up new questions and help us reposition ourselves for success. You might even identify that you are contributing to the situation.
What do I really want and why? – Confusion is Frustration’s sperm donor. When we don’t know what we want, or how we feel, we lock ourselves into a closet of negative feelings that can eat us alive. And worst of all, we can’t go anywhere, or do anything, because we don’t know WHAT to do. Once you realize what you really want, steps toward realizing it usually become clearer, and frustration starts to ease away allowing yourself to move forward.
The best advice I can offer to help you integrate these questions into solving problems in your life is to find a quite place to sit, and think about these questions. And don’t forget to breath.